Monday, September 3, 2012

Dear Jennifer, Where Are the Good Men?

Dear Jennifer,

Friday night, my friends and I sat around moaning about the lack of available boyfriends.  I mean, well, there are men out there.  But let's be real - most of them either want arm candy that smiles a lot but doesn't speak or a sugar mama to pay for their things.  Either way, tantric sex is required or he makes you feel guilty about it.  

My question is, do men change as they get older?  We were thinking that maybe older vampire men might make better boyfriends.  But if I'm going to have sex with a corpse, I want to know that the rest of the time will be different.

Wanting A Serious Boyfriend

Dear Wanting,

Well, sugar, I'm not sure where to start.  As I read your email, I realize that while computers and other technology might change our day to day life, people are still the same.  I guess I'll answer your question first. Sometimes men change as they grow older; it all depends on the man and his life.  But I don't think your problem is the men you know.

Hon, I think the problem is you.

From your email, it sounds like you don't like yourself.  You see yourself as valuable only for your looks or your money, right?  If you only value yourself for those things, that might explain why the men you know only value you for them.  And I'm not sure you know what "tantric" means, but you sound like you dislike sex.  Is that because you like women, or because you don't know how to enjoy yourself?

Either way, most vampires I know wouldn't go near you, because we like sex and dislike being with someone who feel "obliged" to perform, if you know what I mean.

Bottom line - get help.  Learn to love yourself and value yourself.  The rest will fall in place after that.