Monday, January 11, 2021

Dear Jennifer: I Want to be a Vampire

 


Dear Jennifer,

I want to become a vampire. What do I need to do?

- Vampire in Waiting

Dear VIW,

I enjoy simple and direct questions.  And I applaud your honest in your request. But I do have a question - why do you want to be a vampire?

Do you think that being a vampire will make you better?  Smarter? Stronger? 

Do you think that being a vampire will solve your problems?

Becoming a vampire is not for everyone.  In general, you still have whatever problems you had before.  Yes, you might become stronger in terms of human strength, but there is a hierarchy of strength in the vampire community.  And I can assure you that you will not be in the top of that hierarchy for decades. 

I am not asking these questions just to hear myself, by the way.  When a person applies to become a vampire, the interviewer asks these questions, plus a whole lot more.  If you can't answer them for me, then I strongly suggest that you don't apply until you can answer them.  There is a rule that says a human may only apply once to become a vampire.  If the person does not pass the interview (or any of the other mandatory steps), then they will never be turned into a vampire.  Period.


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