Monday, August 27, 2012

Dear Jennifer - Help, My Parents are Insane!!

Dear Jennifer,

Help!  My parents are always around me, telling me what to talk about, talking to my friends, and hanging out with me wherever I go.  I can't even go to the bathroom without my Mom yelling up, asking me if I finally started my period.

When vampires first came out, I thought my parents were kinda cool, because they didn't freak out like my friends' parents.  But then they told me that they want to become vampires so that they can turn me into a vampire.  I don't want to be twelve forever!! 

Please, Jennifer, help me!!!

Terrified of Twelve

Dear Terrified,

Sugar, I'm fixin' to you that you don't need to worry.  We vampires don't turn kids into vampires because getting old while staying a child just messes with your head.  Generally speaking, we use local guidelines about adulthood as the minimum age limit.  So here, you need to be eighteen before anyone would change you over.

As for your parents, they sound like they need the help, not you, serious psychiatric help.  I suggest you speak with your school counselor or some other trusted adult about how to handle your parents' behavior.  Or, if you want, I can come over and speak with them about the vampire part.  Cause, hon, no one will turn them in their current mental state.

Good luck, and let me know how things turn out.

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