Dear Jennifer: My Parents Don't Let Me Have any Privacy

 Dear Jennifer,

Have parents always been so controlling?  My mom and dad don't let me have any privacy.  They go through my phone, my messages, my emails, whenever they want.  Some weeks it's every day.  One time, they woke me up at 2am to search my phone.

I hate feeling like this, like I am worthless.  What do I do?

- Sneaking to the Library to Send this

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Dear Sneaking,

I am so sorry that your parents are treating you as untrustworthy. No, parents have not always been that way, though times were very different when I grew up. My parents were merchants in a large town. I worked in their store, restocking shelves and running the register, from a rather young age. Back then, everyone needed to help out and kids were trusted to handle themselves because they had to.

I think you need to speak with a school counselor about your situation, because your parents are not letting you set reasonable boundaries for yourself. This means that you have no practice in setting boundaries, a situation that usually ends badly for the person in your shoes.

Even if the school counselor can't help with your parents, they should be able to help you learn the skills necessary for setting boundaries with other people in your life. 

Jennifer